The tale (Gillian Smock has another bad dream):

Apart from the strange blue bird on my wooden ark, I was alone in the world. Rain fell for 30 days. On the 40th day, I waved ‘au revoir’ to the last drowning giraffe.A sea-scape dotted about with giraffes gasping for air is not a pleasant sight. I never liked giraffes, they made me feel short and insignificant. No one likes to feel short and insignificant. I was employed as Senior Assessment Administrator at the Department of Anger. I pushed forms. I also pushed people. My unique selling point was my ability to fill out forms blindfolded. With a job like mine you don’t need vision. Once I smelt the numbers and codes imprinted on the top far right hand corner of the form, I knew exactly how to complete the paperwork. If I could describe myself, I would say: I am that person walking on the sidewalk wishing everyone around me dead.
My troubles ended when the rain started. Everyone had drowned. I do not welcome over-capacity in any shape or form. I am a keen advocate of saving the planet which is why I don’t have children, however, my campaign against an evil book called ‘The Joys of Propagation’ proved unsuccessful. I received many death threats. Humans should not beget humans. I do not welcome family trees. I welcome condoms.
The bird got lucky, by the time it landed on my ark, my gun had run out of bullets.